There’s an age-old debate about what defines a true Christmas movie.

Does it have to be about Santa and the Nativity? Or maybe a Rankin/Bass stop-motion animation like “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”? Are there stressed-out, semi-estranged families in holiday sweaters like in “The Family Stone”? Or can you just blow up German terrorists in a high-rise like in “Die Hard,” as long as it’s at Christmastime?

Matthew Norman has heard all these questions before — and he’s prepared to discuss what counts.

“When you write a book with ‘holiday movie’ in the title, you have to be ready for this,” said Norman, a Baltimore-based novelist whose latest work, “Grace & Henry’s Holiday Movie Marathon,” is this month’s selection for The Banner Book Club.

The book follows a man and woman, both recently widowed, whose journey through grief, family and the emotional demands of the holidays brings them closer over several weeks. Through their burgeoning relationship, Grace and Henry use holiday movies as a shorthand for making sense of the occasion and each other.

Ahead of Norman’s appearance at The Banner on Wednesday, we chatted about loss, writing about women and when he knew he was a rom-com guy.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Why set a book about grief at Christmas?

For me, it was something I stumbled on after thinking about these characters. They’re both going through something tough, both having lost their spouses and dealing with grief. I thought about what would be something very difficult for both of them, and I stumbled on their first holiday without their respective spouses.

From personal experience, I can tell you that’s very true.

It seemed like a good place to start a story.

Why was widowhood something that seemed to fit?

A couple of people in my life had lost their spouses way too young, in their late 30s or early 40s. I was observing what they were going through — such an emotional thing. Writers observe things about us and other people, and spin them around in our heads. And then inevitably, some book comes out.

Christmas movies are the theme of your book, so what are your top five?

I have my top three: “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation,” “Love Actually” and “The Family Stone.” If I have to add two, there’s “Elf,” because it’s funny and joyous and silly. I also love “Home Alone.” When I first saw it, I was at an age where I was so young that I was incapable of loving a movie that was so pure. But now I really love it.

Were there any unique challenges with writing this particular book?

Every book has its own unique challenges. I struggled in the first draft. I am a comedic writer, and I was writing about some pretty dark, emotional territory. I decided to let it be what it wanted to be. Sometimes it wanted to be funny, sometimes it wanted to be really sad. I think readers are emotionally sophisticated enough that they know that heartbreak and joy are next-door neighbors.

The book came out in October. What’s the response been?

It has been good! I do my very best not to specifically read the Goodreads and Amazon reviews word for word. I don’t think that’s terribly healthy.

Never, ever do that.

[Laughs] It’s not a typical romantic comedy, or holiday romance. There is a reference to the fact that it does take some dark turns, and walks into some dark places, but I think that’s a benefit. The cover for holiday books is going to look festive and cheery. That’s book publishing 101. Some can be taken aback by that, and some are going in blind.

I’ve always been impressed by this and some of your other work, in that you’re a man working in romantic comedy in an organic way, and not that 1990s, sad, tragic, Nicholas Sparks way.

I stumbled into it. Of my six books, the first four are vaguely in contemporary fiction. The last book before this, “Charm City Rocks,” I was maybe 50 pages into the first draft and realized for the first time in years that I had introduced two unmarried people into the story. It became “Will they or won’t they get together?” So it was a love story. Little did I know that I had taken a turn in my career where I thought, “You’ve finally written something that is something.” There are not a lot of guys writing books like this.

I think you write women really beautifully.

People have said that to me. I am surrounded by women: my agents and editors and everyone who markets my books at the publisher. The second component is that I don’t think it’s a controversial statement that women are dominating in the world of fiction. The most compelling and interesting works of fiction are by women. I’ve been reading books by women by a ratio of about 80/20, by accident. Those are the books I’m drawn to. Novels are an empathy-creating machine. I’ve been reading women so much, from their point of view about relationships and romance and sex. As far as my female characters are concerned, there’s no way that couldn’t make it better.