There’s no place like home for the holidays, but a lot of homes will have less to put in those stockings this year. Blame the Grinch trifecta of the economy, high prices and the massive amount of federal jobs lost, affecting Maryland more than any other state.

That tight financial reality comes at the same time as a general state of unrest in the world, with wars and the rising hate and fear experienced by many of our neighbors.

We may not be dreaming of a light Christmas, present-wise, but we might be getting one anyway. The holidays are not supposed to be all about stuff, but in our culture, that peace on earth and goodwill to everyone is often drowned out by very long Christmas lists and glittery ads for… well… more stuff.

As a parent, I honestly would feel guilty about going nuts with the material stuff this year. It sends the wrong message to my kid about what’s important when so many people are suffering. It’s not just about things costing more, but reframing how we spend that money in the first place.

The trick is figuring out how do you explain this without doing the thing some of our parents did, like guilting us into eating our spinach because of the starving children in Africa? I want to raise a child who feels secure while understanding the state of the world, and who isn’t an entitled jerk. That’s what we all want, right?

Raffi Bilek, a licensed clinical social worker and relationship specialist at the Baltimore Therapy Center in Pikesville, told me that the answer, as with everything with parenting, is nuanced.

“First of all, I would say that the time to talk about giving and austerity and not being materialistic is not the same time you tell them they’re not getting gifts,” Bilek said. “If you pair that with ‘Hey, big gifts are not happening this year,’ it’s not going to go down easy.”

What’s better, he said, is to find an age-appropriate way to explain the current reality without making children “scared that you can’t afford your life. You don’t want them into your financial business too deeply.”

So how do you frame that conversation? Bilek suggested saying something like: “There’s a lot going on in the world, about current events, and things are tough out there, which means that a lot of families are not working. I am aware that we have to scale back, and spend on really important things, like food and socks and soccer practice. We want to make sure everyone gets what they need.”

No matter how you present this, it might not go over well so it’s important as parents to acknowledge that, too. “Have them name and value the feeling, like ‘Hey, it sounds like you’re a little upset about that, and I get it. It’s disappointing,’” he said. “Give them words to identify what is going on with them.”

The response might depend on the age of the children, too. “Younger kids aren’t going to understand, or care. They just know they’re not getting gifts,” Bilek said. Teenagers might react angrily.

Once you acknowledge that possible disappointment, he said, you can pitch opportunities for other experiences and activities that, while not the same as a material gift, are still fun in their own way.

These conversations can also become about the spirit of the holidays — about giving and taking care of our community — but not in a way that’s about guilt or as a consolation prize for the stuff you might not be getting.

I was fortunate to be raised by parents who would take us to volunteer at our church on Thanksgiving, serving meals to those who might go without. It made digging into the turkey and trimmings with our extended family later on more meaningful.

In my own home, my son hears a lot about current events — why there seem to be more people in our neighborhood lining up on the sidewalk for food relief, why some people we know have lost jobs, or why we have changed the way we spend.

As Bilek said, you don’t want to worry kids or have them carrying the weight of the world and family spending on their little shoulders. When I broached the idea of some economic cutbacks this fall, my son asked, “Wait? Are we broke now?”

No, we’re not, but being smarter and more intentional about how we spend money, even at the holidays, can make it less likely that happens. I’ve already explained that we’re going to focus on the quality of a big, most-wanted gift: a refurbished updated phone.

We’ve also booked a local fun travel experience together that he asked for, one that’s more economical than last year’s Christmas night staycation at the swanky Pendry Baltimore, which was really a gift to myself. (Mommy’s gotta readjust her own expectations.)

The most important thing, Bilek said, is honesty and reassurance that we’re all going to be OK, even with a little less material holiday cheer.

“You can say ‘I’m really disappointed that this is where we’re at, but we’ll get through this together,’” he said.